According to Puck
by OpenHappiness
Summary: okay.. so it's OOC. but i tried : the whole 1st season 1 -13 in Puck's eyes. also what happens with the baby? first glee fanfic. so not very good. read anyway? : Puckelberry


**Kind of Puck's POV. **

**spoilers, the end is the future :) **

**SONG : LIFELINE - PAPA ROACH**

**just a one shot. :) **

**Review! **

_When I was a boy I didn't care 'bout a thing  
It was me and this world and a broken dream  
I was blaming myself for all that was going wrong_

Noah Puckerman walks into McKinley highschool, his signature smirk plastered on his face as he runs a hand through his mohawk. He smirks as he sees two girls he 'played' with last night in a fight. The girls are ripping each other's hair out, both screaming ' his mine! ' but Puck walks forward, his smirk slowly dropping as he gets called in by his guidance counselor. He already knows what that means. That means that his grades are too bad for even to be considered to get into a school not in Lima. His badass attitude is gone for a second, as he thinks about staying in Lima for his whole life. He wants to bang his head against the wall, for not keeping his grades okay, ever since he finally got them up.. it would be all his fault when he gets stuck in Lima.

His attitude comes back again as he sees a group of cheerios walking past him. Quinn sends a disgusted look at him as Puck grabs Santana's ass and whispers something dirty into her ear before walking into his counselors office.

_I was way out there on the wrong side of town  
And the ones that I loved I started pushing 'em out  
Then I realized that it was all my fault_

Puck finally gets his shoes on and walks out of the door of the house he woke up in. he groans as he doesn't find his car on Quinn Fabray's driveway. He bits his lip as he tries to think of a way to get home. Home, that to his 'luck' is on the other side of the small town. This has to be karma. The punishment he gets for sleeping with Finn's girl. He groans as he finally notices the constant pain in his head. He shrugs and starts walking towards a store, an aspirine and a bottle of water now the only two things on his mind. He decides to block out the guilty feeling. He is Puck. He can't feel guilty..

as he gets to the store he almost panics. Why? Finn is grinning at him and waving. Puck manages to fake a smile as he walks towards Finn and his mother. '' hey mrs. Hudson '' Puck fake grins. Finn's mum smiles and nods, then walks off with a list on her hands.

Finn smiles big and they do their handshake '' hey.. what you doing here? '' Finn looks at Puck. Puck panics a little. What's he supposed to say? Uhm. I just went out for a run and ended up in the other side of the town? He then remembers something and he quickly fakes a smirk '' I just came from Santana's.. that girl is so good.. '' puck quickly lies. Finn nods absently and bits his lip '' well. You feel like coming over? Video games? ''

Puck gulps. He doesn't think he can do it. Finn will know something is up. He is his best friend. '' Uhm.. I have to help my mother today. Sorry. '' he quickly says, adding '' actually I have to go. .see you on Monday? ''

Finn nods again, a little sad and confused. Puck never helps her mother. At least not on weekends. Puck quickly finds the water and aspirine, pays for them and starts making his way home. His mind screaming at him. '' You slept with Quinn! This will ruin everything! ''

During the next weeks, he finds himself avoiding Finn. He knows that if this gets out, Finn would be devastated and oh so pissed. And it would be his fault. He decided not to blame Quinn, since nobody would've blamed her. Everyone would think Puck got her drunk and slept with her, no matter what they both would say.

_I've been looking for a lifeline  
For what seems like a lifetime  
I'm drowning in the pain, breaking down again  
Looking for a lifeline_

Finn smiles big and kisses Quinn, puck turns around and starts walking the other doesn't want to see the happy couple kissing. What frustrates him is that every time he sees them kissing, he wants to punch Finn. He hates feeling jealous. For some reason, he doesn't feel that guilty about sleeping with Q anymore. Hell, the only thing he's feeling guilty about right now is wanting to do Quinn again. But that would never happen.

Puck groans as he walks into the choir room and sees that only Berry is in there. Berry looks up and gets back to tying her shoelace, giving puck a perfect view of her long legs and her ass. Puck's eyebrows raise as he discovers that the 'crazy diva singer' is actually hot. He walks into his seat and right when he's actually starting to get a good view about Rachel's front, the cheerios walk in, all except Brittany glaring at him.

Puck feels guilty again and fakes his badass smirk back into his face. He has this idea, that with a smirk like that, no one will ever know about Puck suffering from emotions. **No one** will ever know that he is actually desperately searching for a way out of all this drama. Soon, the whole Glee club is present and practice begins. Puck actually likes singing. It takes his mind off of things. But it's like a drug. Soon the effect will wear off and leaves Puck depressed and frustrated again.

So I put out my hand and I asked for some help

We tore down the walls I built around myself

_I was struck by the light and I fell to the ground_

Puck pulled Rachel into a kiss once again. Her soft lips against his, just felt natural. Almost as natural as it felt being in Rachel Berry's bedroom, and watching her sing into a mirror. It had been really weird actually. One moment Puck found himself staring at Rachel in class and trying to remember the flavor of her favorite slushie. And the next moment he is on her bed, making out with her. And not wanting to get into her pants. Which is a rare thing, well. In Puck's world anyway.

They had been doing this for 4 days already. On her bed, on the hood of his car, on the bleachers and to everyone's dismay, in Glee practice. After he chose Glee over football, they decided to go public. Of course, not everyone liked them being together. Finn and Quinn definetly didn't. And that scared the hell ot of Puck. He was scared of Finn trying to win Rachel over and Quinn telling Rachel about him being a cheater. And what scared him even more, was him thinking like that. He was never scared about things like that. He hadn't ever thought that someone would try to steal his girl away from him. Actually.. he never bothered to care. But this time.. he wasn't sure that he could survive without Rachel by his side.

She had been the second thing that took his mind off things. She had actually made him forget about the guilt and she had been the one who made him forget about wanting Quinn. He was falling for Berry. Not that he would ever admit it of course.. not to anyone who wasn't Rachel..

You see, Rachel was the only one who knew who Puck was actually. She knew the other side of him. The ' Noah' side. And puck wasn't actually bothered with it. He was totally ok with opening up to Rachel. And trusting her. It was a great feeling. It was scary at first, but he had gotten accustomed to the feeling. He loved the fact that he didn't always need to be the 'badass' in front of her. And he thought that she had understood this too. He had thought that Rachel was feeling the same ..

but as the words ' This isn't going to work out, Noah ' came out of her mouth, while they were sitting on the bleachers, Puck felt like lightning had struck him. Twice..

suddenly he heard himself asking '' it's because of Finn isn't It? ''

he hadn't understood why had he even asked it. He didn't want to know the answer. He didn't want to know that his best friend is going to get two girls that he wanted.

But he found out anyways. Rachel admitted it. But then something that he didn't expect happened. He felt tears sting his eyes as Rachel continued '' But you feel the same way about Quinn.. ''

Puck wanted to punch someone then. He didn't want Quinn anymore. He didn't.. he wanted Rachel.

But he would never admit it to her. Not now. Not after she had broken him..

so he lied '' yeah. '' he said. And lied some more. Telling Rachel that the golden couple was never going to break up.. because they weren't. And because just maybe, Rachel would think it over. And come back to him. But after long moments, he felt a squeeze on his shoulder and Rachel walked off.

Leaving Puck on the bleachers, staring at the stadium. Feeling like he had fallen off a cliff.

_I've been looking for a lifeline  
For what seems like a lifetime  
I'm drowning in the pain, breaking down again  
Looking for a lifeline_

As Puck was starting to heal from Rachel's break up, he heard the most horrible news, that anyone could ever hear. Quinn was pregnant.

At first he felt bad for Quinn and Finn. But when he started thinking about the conversations with Finn. And him admitting to still being a virgin, he started to feel nervous..

if Finn was a virgin, then he couldn't be the father. And Quinn wouldn't cheat on Finn twice.

So then Puck felt even more depressed. His best friend's girl was pregnant with his baby?

**Oh the joy.**

Already feeling like shit from the breakup, he decided not to call himself the father of the baby without any proof. So he went over to Quinn to ask about it.

And of course. Like his life couldn't get any worse.. the baby is Puck's. Quinn is not going to tell Finn that and she's going to destroy Puck if he tells him. To top it all.

A few days later Quinn gets kicked out of her house, she starts living with Finn.

Puck can't help but feel like a jackass. So he offers Quinn the little money, he's got.

After another yelling match from Quinn, Puck understands how much money the baby's gonna need.

He gets even more depressed. His dreams of leaving are long gone, because he could never leave Lima with a kid staying here. Even if no one knew that the kid was his.

His dream girl is gone. Rachel and Finn are getting closer again. Puck feels like beating the guy.

What the hell is Finn doing? He has a pregnant girlfriend.

So when Puck is home alone, after a drama filled school day, he starts screaming and beating the crap out of his room.. at the end of the day. He decides to join fight club again. He needs a place he can beat something up..

_  
Is there anybody out there?  
Can you pull me from this ocean of despair?  
I'm drowning in the pain, breaking down again  
Looking for a lifeline_

nothing has changed for the better. Finn still doesn't know. Quinn is still living with Finn. Puck is a mess inside. He started to feel even worse as he saw the exhaustion in Finn's eyes when he came to school after running around the town at 4 am for pickles and ice cream.

His best friend was depressed and tired. About to ruin his life with a baby. That's even not his.

Great right?

Puck Is going crazy. The only thing, keeping him going is Glee and football. The two things he puts his heart into. The two things that no one can take from him. Two things that can't get pregnant or break his heart.

**Then one day...**

he found himself on the ground of the choir room. With Finn on top of him and beating the crap out of him. Puck didn't fight back. He knew that he had no right to..

And then they pulled Finn off of him. Quinn crying and confessing, Finn yelling, and everyone's shocked faces. Rachel's face has guilt too.

'' I'm done with everyone ! '' Finn yells and shots glares at me, Quinn and Rachel?

Why is Rachel to blame here?

Then he storms out of the room. Quinn storms out a minute later. Everyone is silent. And then Rachel starts sobbing.

_You know a heart of gold won't take you all the way  
And in a world so cold it's hard to keep the faith  
I'm never gonna fade away, yeah_

When I get to my car, thinking about the look on Quinn's face as she told me that she's going to all on her own, I find a figure sitting on the hood on my car. I stop a few feet away from her and stare. She looks down and then takes a deep breath '' i'm sorry.. '' Rachel says and meets my eyes. Her eyes are radiating with guilt, unshed tears and need of forgiveness. I shrug and sit next to her. We're both silent.

After 10 minutes I finally speak '' you made me forget. You made me forget about sleeping with Quinn. About my dreams never happening. About everything. And I felt good. I felt more than good. I was falling for you. '' I pause and study Rachel's face. She's confused and shocked. But she's also attempting to smile. And not to cry..

I continue again '' And then. Came the breakup.. you still wanted Finn. And you thought I wanted Quinn. I didn't. I lied to you. I couldn't didn't want to. But I had to..

So when you were gone, and I finally started to heal. I found out that Quinn was pregnant. With my baby.. and everything got messed up again. There's only two people that need to say sorry now. Me and Quinn. So don't be sorry.. there's no need to be. I'm sorry.. you're messed up in all this again. And now Finn's pissed at you. When he shouldn't be. '' I stopped talking again. Rachel was still staring at me. I smiled weakly '' Long story short. I'm sorry. '' I said again. She smiled at me and a tear rolled down her cheek '' I'm sorry too. For breaking up with you. I was terrified of getting my heart broken. So I did what seemed right at the time. Break up with you before you do it to me. '' Rachel said softly.

I looked at her, shocked. Rachel started talking again '' before you understand that I'm no Quinn and leave me. '' I hugged her then and whispered '' You're not Quinn. That's why I love you.. ''

Rachel pulled back, quickly. She was shocked. She just stared at me. I stared at her. She didn't say anything. A simple ' goodbye noah ' would've done it. But the always talking singer, was speechless.

She studied me once more and then suddenly jumped up. I shot her a confused look. She smiled weakly '' let me think ok? ''

I slowly nodded in shock. I actually had thought that she would reject me quickly. The nicest girl in the planet, actually gave me a chance. As she walked away I felt a small smile appear on my face. It was the first real smile in months. At that moment I felt like I was not nothing. I felt like I still had my faith. I hopped off from my hood and sat in the car, catching a glimpse as Rachel passed me with her car. I feel my smile stretch bigger as I drive home. Tomorrow, I'm going to see Rachel again. Tomorrow is sectionals. I have faith that tomorrow's gonna be a good day. Everything is going to be ok. **I hope..**

_I've been looking for a lifeline  
For what seems like a lifetime  
I'm drowning in the pain, breaking down again  
Looking for a lifeline_

I look at Rachel, as she and Mercedes are talking about the ballad. And when Rachel's face lights up, I feel a smile appearing on my face as well. With the ballad settled, Rachel starts brain storming again. Why does she need to brain storm? Our set list has been leaked. Everyone's out of it. We need new songs. And we need new choreography. And we have an hour to do it all.. i'm gonna kill Sue Sylvester. At first I wanted to kill the cheerios too.. but after thinking about it. Brittany can't be blamed. She does anything she's told.. And Santana.. well. Even I don't want to mess with her..

anyways, we already had two songs..

but we still need one. And then **HE** walks in. with sheet music. And a huge smile appears on Rachel's face.

Don't get me wrong, I would be happy if this would be all. I mean the saving the day.. but as he glares at me and Quinn, he walks over to Rachel and forgives her. I'm happy for Rachel. She can't live with someone hating her. So that's good. But then the next thing that Finn does, pisses me off.

'' Rachel, will you go out with me? '' Finn asks, smiling big at Rachel.

Rachel looks at him,her smile changing to frustration. She stares at me and then back at Finn.

Finn follows her eyes and looks at me again. He turns back to Rachel.

Rachel opens up her mouth but words don't come out.

She has to choose. I look down. She has to choose between a guy she's been wanting from day one of Glee and a guy who got his best friend's girl pregnant.

_Is there anybody out there?  
Can you pull me from this ocean of despair?  
I'm drowning in the pain, breaking down again  
Looking for a lifeline_

**5 months later**, Puck looks at the baby Quinn's arms and looks down '' you sure? ''

Quinn closes her eyes to stop the tears and whispers '' I want her to have a good life. ''

Puck nods, knowing that Quinn is right and walks closer to them. '' Can I? '' he whispers.

Quinn opens her eyes and looks at him , a little surprised '' Uhm.. sure. '' she says and slowly lifts her arms, placing the baby into Puck's arms. Puck looks down at his daughter and smiles a sad smile '' hi.. '' he says and the baby opens her eyes. Puck holds back a sob and kisses her forehead '' now? ''

Quinn nods slowly and sits up to kiss her baby's forehead also. '' I love you. '' she whispers and sobs.

Puck turns around to the social worker and smiles weakly '' you be good now.. '' he says to his daughter as he hands the baby over to the social worker. The social worker smiles sadly '' she already has foster parents waiting. She'll be in very good hands. '' Puck and Quinn slowly nod and stare at the door as the Social worker walks out with the baby.

When she's gone, Quinn looks up at Puck '' Can I be alone? '' she whispers. Puck nods and walks out of the room also. He feels tears prickling his eyes. He also feels like a big chunk of him is missing. He slides down the wall and hides his face in his hands, as he starts sobbing. A hand appears on his hand and he looks up and meets the eyes of Rachel Berry, She gives him a small smile and sits next to him, resting her head on his chest '' I'm sorry. '' she whispers.

Puck buries his head into Rachel's hair and sobs.

After a while, he stands up with Rachel, giving her a sad smile '' thanks hun. ''

Rachel smiles and wraps her arms around his waist '' anything for you. You ok? ''

Puck looks down '' I am now.. just hard you know ? ''

Rachel squeezes his hand and gives him a small smile.

'' you hungry? ''

Puck manages to smirk weakly and kisses Rachel quickly '' yes.. I'm in the mood for you.. '' his smirks grows bigger as Rachel giggles and fake hits him '' noah! Can I have some food first? '' she smirks bigger at him. He is growing on her. Puck chuckles and kisses her forehead '' Of course. I wouldn't want my girl to starve, would I? ''

Rachel smiles big at him and pecks his lips as they walk out of the hospital '' **I love you.** '' she whispers.

Puck opens the door of his truck for 'his lifeline ' and kisses her back '' **love you too Rach..** ''


End file.
